Imagine a life where you no longer make choices based on circumstances, pressures or your present frame of mind.
When you know what you were put on earth to do you can focus and concentrate time and energy on what's most important.
A high Majority of people throughout the world today experience high levels of stress on a weekly and daily basis throughout this course we'll explore and discover why?
Imagine if you were able to reach the stage in life where you no longer needed approval and acceptance from other people in the full range of your life areas would that leave to free to live out the rest of your life with passion, purpose and far greater fulfillment?
This course is for you if youve reached the stage in life where youre stuck at a crossroads, youve hit the glass ceiling or you dont know which way to turn next!
By the end of this course, be prepared to fully understand the things that you value most in life, and from here, you will be free to make more well informed decisions in the context of your daily life that will allow you to get further, faster, more efficiently, and achieve more of the things that are actually of greatest importance to you.
In this video I introduce the Life Balance Questionnaire - it will be helpful for you to download and print this off as we will be referring back to it later on in the course.
In this video I introduce the Life Balance Questionnaire - it will be helpful for you to download and print this off as we will be referring back to it later on in the course.
Imagine a life where you no longer make choices based on circumstances, pressures or your present frame of mind.
When you know what you were put on earth to do you can focus and concentrate time and energy on what's most important.
In this section I will share what I have found to be: 7 Keys For Lasting Fulfilment
One of the most inspiring movie lines I've ever heard has to be My ambition far exceeds my talents, said by Johnny Depps character George Chung in the 2001 movie, Blow.
Ambition is the most important tool for achieving fulfilment in life; it overrides both talent and resources by far.
An ambitious attitude can lead anyone towards triumph and satisfaction, regardless of what challenges lie in wait. To possess the will, the dream and the courage to get ahead in life is greater than any skill you could ever possess.
Having talent means nothing if you don't have the ambition behind it, driving you forward towards achieving something greater than what you currently have done in life to date.
Ambition is the driving force behind the desire to achieve.
Without ambition, people can only go so far in life and can very easily find themselves in a place of stagnicity (either going around in circles, or going nowhere at all!).
EXERCISE 1: How Ambition Influences Your Future
As humans, we have this awesome ability that most of us have never been taught to use effectively.
Top performing athletes use it. The mega rich entrepreneurs use it. And all the influential leaders in this wold use it. This ability is visualization.
The practice of visualizing your goals as being already fulfilled, can rapidly accelerate your achievement and allow you get a hell of a lot further, faster!
Visualization of your goals accomplishes four very important things:
1.) It activates your imagination in a way that will start generating new creative ideas to fulfill your goal for efficiently.
2.) It prompts your brain to perceive more readily the resources you will need to achieve your goals.
3.) It activates the law of attraction, by drawing the people, the resources and circumstances you need to achieve your goals.
4.) It further develops your internal motivation for taking the necessary actions that will enable you reach your final destination.
Visualization is quite simple. You can visualize as you sit in a comfortable position, go for a walk, or even lie in bed at night.
You simply close your eyes and imagine (in as vivid detail as possible) what you are looking when your goals are already fulfilled.
The world's top athletes call this visualization process 'Mental Rehearsal,' and have been using it since the 1960s since it was initially introduced by a team of Russian psychologists.
Mental Rehearsal simply allows you to picture what you are attempting to achieve before actually setting out to achieve it.
"Most disciplined athletes spend most of their time practicing the different sections of the race, their approach, their technique, and most importantly, practice visualising their goal." - Erin Cafaro: Gold Medal, Rowing (Beijing 2008)
Mental rehearsal is also often referred to as visualization or imagery. This technique is one of the most widely utilized techniques of relieving anxiety and enhancing motivation in the world's top performers. It does this by making the task achievable in the participant's mind, thus making it feel less challenging in reality.
Visualization involves the repetition of an action in the mind, being able to see with greater CLARITY, exactly what can be achieved, and so familiarizes the mind with whatever the desired outcome is.
Being able to visualize an action first has many advantages. The most important thing imagery influences are concentration.
Visualization must not be confused with daydreaming. Day dreaming is more often than not completely unproductive.
Benefits of Mental Rehearsal
- Limits thoughts only to those helpful to achieving success.
- Provides a clear vision of the task at hand.
- Lifts arousal levels to an optimum state.
- Heightens and alleviates concentration.
If we want to achieve extraordinary life results and fulfilment, we need more than just time management systems. We need a new system of thinking; a way to focus immediately on the results that are most important to us in our lives.
Instead of focusing on what it is we need to do, we should first focus on what it is we want - not on what we don't want!
Visualization and mental imagery are things you have probably heard of in some way or form. Many people throughout the world from professional athletes to New Age gurus actively use this technique to better themselves and their situations in life.
Visualizations roots are deep in the history of humankind and span across numerous cultures and time periods. As old as the practice may be the amazing thing is its still being used today all throughout the world. The attraction is in its simplicity and effectiveness.
To Visualize Is To See Clearly With Your Minds Eye In Order To Create Positive Changes In Your Life
Take 6 minutes, find a quiet place, and complete the following exercise:
STEP 1. (2 mins)
Imagine sitting in a movie theatre, the lights dim, and then the movie starts.
It is a movie of you achieving whatever it is that you want to achieve. See as much detail as you can create, including your what you're wearing, the expression on your face, small body movements, the environment and any other people that might be around.
Add in any sounds you would be hearing traffic, cheering, music, other people talking, applause. And finally, recreate any feelings you think you would be experiencing as you engage in this achievement.
STEP 2. (2 mins)
Get out of your chair, walk up to the screen, open a door in the screen and enter into the movie.
Now experience the whole thing again from inside of yourself, looking out through your eyes. This is called an embodied image rather than a distant image. It will deepen the impact of the experience.
Again, see everything in vivid detail, hear the sounds you would hear, and feel the feelings you would feel.
STEP 3. (2 mins)
Finally, walk back out of the screen that is still showing the picture of you performing perfectly, return to your seat in the theatre, reach out and grab the screen and shrink it down to the size of a peanut.
Then, bring this peanut sized miniature screen up to your mouth, and swallow it. Imagine that this peanut contains the full picture of you performing well. Imagine all these little screens traveling down into your stomach and out through the bloodstream into every cell of your body. Then imagine that every cell of your body is lit up with a movie of you performing perfectly. Its like one of those appliance store windows where 50 televisions are all tuned to the same channel.
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Once you've finished this 3 Step process, you can open your eyes and go about your day. If you make this exercise a part of your daily routine, you will be amazed at how much improvement you will see in the quality of your life.
All that we're really trying to accomplish here, is simply allowing you to see how the ability for achieving anything you want - is already inside you!
If you really concentrate and complete this exercise without distraction, you will experience the power of visualisation for yourself!
'In time, the right word and the right way will reveal itself.'
Life will often become more fulfilling and less stressful as we draw closer towards reaching our goals.
It might not always seem this way, as more often than not, people have very little clarity on exactly what their long term life desires are.
Most people have more great ideas than we they have great life outcomes and exacts. Although great ideas will often get us started, it's the outcomes and the fruits of our labors that often keep us going.
These outcomes also enable us to accelerate our pace and to recognize our final destination once we've reached it. Consider, for example, driving to a destination, maybe even somewhere you've been before but cant remember where it is. You have an idea instead, enough to get you started. Thus, after a while you find yourself somewhere in close vicinity, but not at your exact destination.
As a result, you might feel anxious, excited or even annoyed because you know you are close but you arent where you wanted to be.
Hence the importance of clarity!
Clarity of where you're going is crucial whether you're driving in your car or pursuing your life's goals. The degree of clarity we have of our goals hugely determines the degree of success we experience in relation to our goals. Without clarity, we can occupy the close vicinity surrounding our goals, without ever occupying our goals.
Vague Visions
Vagueness of vision vexes millions of people all around the world today. Characteristically, vague visions are determined visions, but yet indefinite visions. People with vague visions will often lack the ability to express their aspirations clearly, which in turn will often limit the degree of success that they experience.
I'm not suggesting here that people with vague visions cant succeed in life because they can. Sometimes, in being too precise, we can miss excellent opportunities when they emerge as we lack the urge to pursue them, especially if they contradict our expectations. However, clarity always precedes lasting success.
Naming It
If we cant express our aims clearly to ourselves, we will have difficulty expressing them to others also, which in turn will hinder their ability to help us (if needed).
Thats why its important to ask ourselves, What do I truly want?
Asking this question daily enables us to develop clarity, and answering it anchors us within our pursuits. It also increases our confidence and changes how others experience us.
Clarity enables us to be decisive and assertive rather than tentative and timid. Clarity, however, isnt something we get once and for all. On the contrary, it develops in stages as we evaluate where we are and what it is that we want.
Without asking these questions of ourselves and achieving clarity, we'll always get in the vicinity, but never to our destination.
The video's in Section 4 will allow to develop a much deeper understanding of what it is that you 'really' want.
Clarity enables us to be decisive and assertive rather than tentative and timid.
Clarity, however, isnt something we get once and for all. On the contrary, it develops in stages as we evaluate where we are and what it is that we want.
- Do you feel like your brain is too full of random stuff?
- Is there too much clutter keeping you from thinking straight?
- Cant gather your thoughts because of the mountain of other worries?
- Do you find it difficult to maintain focus?
Mental clarity is easy to lose, but you can get it back quickly too!
Mental clarity escapes even the best of us. I'm sure that even Einstein and Shakespeare had moments when they didn't have a clue what they were doing!
Mental clarity is something you can create in an instant. Whenever you need to think your way out of a problem, create a compelling argument, or you just want the mental noise to STOP use these tips to clean-sweep your mind and restore mental clarity.
If you discipline yourself and follow these six simple steps, you'll notice that it won't take long to clear your head of clutter and begin fully restoring your mental clarity (and your mental composure)!
Where focus goes, energy flows. And if you dont take the time to focus on what matters, then youre living a life of someone elses design. - Tony Robbins
Most people blame other people or their circumstances for what they are in life. I dont believe in circumstances.
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they cant find them, make them.
You cannot succeed in life by scattering your forces and trying to do a dozen things at the same time.
Where focus goes, energy flows. And if you dont take the time to focus on what matters, then youre living a life of someone elses design. - Tony Robbins
Most people blame other people or their circumstances for what they are in life. I dont believe in circumstances.
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they cant find them, make them.
You cannot succeed in life by scattering your forces and trying to do a dozen things at the same time.
9 Training exercises for Focusing and disciplining your mind.
Most people blame other people or their circumstances for what they are in life. I dont believe in circumstances.
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they cant find them, make them.
You cannot succeed in life by scattering your forces and trying to do a dozen things at the same time.
How many times have you started enthusiastically a weight loss program, began a bodybuilding or aerobics training program, or started learning a foreign language, only to stop after a short while?
Often, there is lack of motivation, or only a short-lived one.
Motivation has become a popular term nowadays. There are motivational coaches and speakers, and motivational books and articles. What is it actually, and why do you need it?
Motivation is a driving force. In order to accomplish anything, you need a driving force, otherwise nothing will happen. A wish is not strong enough to make you take action. A wish is a weak desire. Only a strong desire can drive you forward, to act and accomplish aims and goals.
In order to get motivated, you need to know exactly what it is that you want, to possess a strong desire, and to be willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish your goal.
It easier to display motivation in connection with short-term goals. When it comes to long-term goals, it is not always possible to sustain the motivation for a longer period of time. This is why it is wiser to start with small goals, and after gaining experience with being motivated, you proceed to bigger goals.
If you desire to get a certain object, or accomplish a certain goal, but you don't feel motivated enough to act, it means that the desire or goal are not important enough. To be motivated to take action and do something in respect to your goal, you need to possess a strong desire.
Motivation has much to do with your emotions and imagination, which means that if you want to increase it, you have to work on your feelings and imagination.
Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the degree of success that you want.
Do You Know Your "Why?"
If youve ever faced a significant crisis in your life, youll have experienced the power of purpose to tap reserves of energy, determination and courage you likely didnt know you had. Your mission was clear. Your goal was compelling. Your focus was laser-like. Your potential was unlimited.
The power of purpose is similar to the energy of light focused through a magnifying glass. Diffused light has little use, but when its energy is concentratedas through a magnifying glassthat same light can set fire to paper.
Focus its energy even more, as with a laser beam, and it has the power to cut through steel. Likewise, a clear sense of purpose enables you to focus your efforts on what matters most, compelling you to take risks and push forward regardless of the odds or obstacles.
Unlike animals, which are driven simply to survive, we humans crave more from life than mere survival. Without an answer to the question Survival for the sake of what? We can quickly fall into disillusionment, distraction and a quiet sense of despair.
The alarming increase in rates of drug and alcohol abuse, depression and suicide, along with the growing reliance on antidepressant medications, seems to indicate many are doing just that. Likewise, a quick glance at employee engagement statistics points to a crisis of purpose and meaning on an unprecedented scale. Given were wealthier today than at any time in history, there is clearly a marked difference between well off and well-being.
Philosopher Frederick Nietzsche once said, He who has a why can endure any how. Knowing your 'why' is crucial for creating a life that you love (versus merely surviving!).
When you know your why you'll be driven to take the risks needed to get ahead, and move your life onto an entirely new, more challenging, and more rewarding trajectory.
While theres no one easy pathway for discovering your lifes purpose, there are many ways you can gain deeper insight into yourself. Once you've gained a deeper insight into yourself, this gives you a larger perspective on what you have to offer the world.
Reflect on the four questions in Lecture 23 to help find what sits at the intersection between what you care about, what you can contribute, and what you can offer that will be of most value to the world.
If youve ever faced a significant crisis in your life, youll have experienced the power of purpose to tap reserves of energy, determination and courage you likely didnt know you had.
Your mission was clear. Your goal was compelling. Your focus was laser-like. Your potential was unlimited.
The power of purpose is similar to the energy of light focused through a magnifying glass. Diffused light has little use, but when its energy is concentratedas through a magnifying glassthat same light can set fire to paper.
1. WHAT MAKES YOU COME ALIVE?
The word inspire, comes from the Latin, meaning to breathe life into.
Accordingly when you are working toward things that inspire you, it literally makes you feel more alive. What makes you come alive isnt referring to taking your dream holiday or watching your favorite team play football (unless youre called to a career as a football coach or commentator!).
Its bigger than that. Im talking about a why that moves up the food chain from being about you to being about something bigger than you.
Its about connecting with your passions, knowing that when you focus your attention on endeavors that put a fire in your belly, you grow your impact and influence in ways that nothing else can.
You dont have to declare at this point that you want to invent the next iPad, solve the worlds energy problems or cure cancer (though you might!). This is about you connecting to a cause thats bigger than you are, but which is also congruent with who you are what you care about.
2. WHAT ARE YOUR NATURAL STRENGTHS?
In The Element, Sir Ken Robinson says that our element is the point at which natural talent and skill meets personal passion. When people are in their element, they are not only more productive, but they add more value and enjoy more personal and professional fulfilment. Accordingly, its also often where they also tend to make more money!
What are the things youve always been good at (sometimes wondering why others find it so hard?) Are you able to see patterns and opportunities amidst complexity? Are you creative, naturally adept at coming up with outside the box solutions? Are you a natural born rebel with an innate ability to identify where the status quo is in need of a makeover?
Are you brilliant in the details, naturally good at executing projects with a precision that some find tedious? Or are you a naturally gifted communicator, technocrat, diplomat, networker, leader, problem solver or change agent?
Of course, you can also be passionate about things you have no natural talent for, and talented at things for which you hold little passion. In life, we are rarely passionate about ambition we have no natural talent to achieve.
As civil rights leader Howard Thurmon once wrote, Dont ask yourself what the world needs; ask you what makes you come alive, and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
3. WHERE DO YOU ADD THE GREATEST VALUE?
Doing work that youre good at, but which you loathe, is not a pathway to fulfilment. Knowing your strengths and where you can add the most value (through applying your skills, knowledge and experience) will help you focus on opportunities and pathways where you are most likely to succeed. By doing this, you'll be likely to find the greatest sense of accomplishment and contribution.
Too often we undervalue our strengths, skills and the expertise we naturally acquire over time. If you reconsider the concept of adding value to the lens of solving problems, you can ask yourself what youre well placed and equipped to help solve in your workplace, career, organisation or industry.
You can also ask yourself what problems you enjoy solving, and what problems you feel passionate about trying to solve. Youll then be more successful at focusing on your natural strengths and those things youre innately good at than trying to bolster or eliminate your weaknesses.
4. HOW WILL YOU MEASURE THE SUCCESS OF YOUR LIFE?
People who dont stand for something will easily fall for anything. Deciding how you want to measure your life means making a stand for something and then living your life in alignment with it.
Ultimately, living with purpose means focusing on things that matter most. Ironically, the things that matter most are rarely things.
While some people will trade the security of a salary in order to pursue a passion, many people cant (at least not in the short term without violating values like paying off debt or providing for their family).
But following the money and following your heart dont have to be mutually exclusive. By shifting the lens in which you view what you are doing now, you can profoundly shift your experience of it.
No matter what your job, you can draw meaning from it and find greater purpose through how you do what you do. If you dont think youre the kind of person youd want to work with, then consider that it may not be because of the job you do each day, but your attitude toward it.
Knowing your purpose may compel you to take on challenges that will stretch you as much as they inspire you. Just as a boat under power can handle any size wave if perpendicular to it, when youre powered by a clear purpose, there is little you cannot do.
Dealing with change or loss is an inevitable part of life. At some point, everyone experiences varying degrees of setbacks.
Some of these challenges might be relatively minor (such as, not getting a promotion you wanted). While others are disastrous on a much larger scale (such as hurricanes, tornadoes or terrorist attacks).
How we deal with these problems can play a major role in not only the outcome, but also the long-term psychological consequences.
What Is Resilience?
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to remain calm in the face of disaster while others seem to fall apart? People that can keep their cool have what psychologists call resilience, or an ability to cope with problems and setbacks.
Resilient people will utilise their skills and strengths to cope and recover from challenges, which may include job loss, financial problems, illness, natural disasters, divorce or even the death of a loved one.
Those who lack this resilience may instead become overwhelmed by such experiences. They may dwell on problems and use unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with such challenges. These individuals are often slower to recover from setbacks and may experience more psychological distress, as a result.
Resilience does not eliminate stress or erase life's difficulties. Instead, it gives people the strength to tackle problems head on, overcome adversity and move on with their lives. In the wake of traumas such as the 9/11 attacks and the Hurricane Katrina disaster, many individuals demonstrated the behaviours that typify resilience. Even in the face of events that seem utterly unimaginable, people can marshal the strength to not just survive, but to prosper.
Some individuals come by these abilities naturally, with personality traits that help them remain unflappable in the face of challenge. However, these behaviours are not simply an inborn trait found in a select few individuals.
According to many experts, resilience is quite common, and people are very capable of learning the skills that it takes to become more resilient. In my very own experience, this is 100% always the case!
What Is Resilience?
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to remain calm in the face of disaster while others seem to fall apart? People that can keep their cool have what psychologists call resilience, or an ability to cope with problems and setbacks.
Resilient people will utilise their skills and strengths to cope and recover from challenges, which may include job loss, financial problems, illness, natural disasters, divorce or even the death of a loved one.
Those who lack this resilience may instead become overwhelmed by such experiences. They may dwell on problems and use unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with such challenges. These individuals are often slower to recover from setbacks and may experience more psychological distress, as a result.
Resilience does not eliminate stress or erase life's difficulties. Instead, it gives people the strength to tackle problems head on, overcome adversity and move on with their lives. In the wake of traumas such as the 9/11 attacks and the Hurricane Katrina disaster, many individuals demonstrated the behaviours that typify resilience. Even in the face of events that seem utterly unimaginable, people can marshal the strength to not just survive, but to prosper.
Some individuals come by these abilities naturally, with personality traits that help them remain unflappable in the face of challenge. However, these behaviours are not simply an inborn trait found in a select few individuals.
According to many experts, resilience is quite common, and people are very capable of learning the skills that it takes to become more resilient. In my very own experience, this is 100% always the case!
Imagine having the ability to fulfil any goal you desired, regardless of how challenging it was to achieve. Imagine having the stamina to bounce back from your hardships and tackle any obstacles in your way.
What would you choose to do, knowing you could achieve anything that you committed your life to fulfil?
Psychologists across the globe have reflected upon this for decades. What makes some people more successful than others? What has evolved from studies is that there is a common contributing factor to success. 'Emotional Resilience.
Being resilient is a term used to describe how one succeeds in the face of adversity. The more resilient you are, the more likely you will overcome the obstacles needed to achieve your goals, whatever they may be.
Perseverance And Hope Are Tools In Your 'Resilience Toolbox.'
Determination is your decision to fulfill something no matter what.
Perseverance is keep doing something for the time needed to achieve your target, not matter how long or difficult the path is.
Hope is also a valuable tool, as we grow in hope, our anxieties will very often decrease rapidly.
A resilient person would finish doing something even if he had become bored with it and desired change while a non-resilient person would have gone to another goal when he started to lose interest. As you can understand, its very hard to measure our resilience though there are various ways we can improve it.
How Can We Become More Resilient?
1. MAKE REALISTIC PLANS: And follow through with them! A lot of us make big plans and never quite get around to completing them. Train your mind to stay focused (see the Focus Exercise), by working your way up from small achievements to big goals that require many steps to complete.
2. DEVELOP FURTHER COMPETENCE IN YOUR ABILITIES: Remain optimistic in all things and have a healthy view of yourself in relation to the world around you. Stay hopeful; be passionate about your dreams.
3. BECOME AN EXPERT PROBLEM SOLVER: On the way to achieving your goals, you will surely come across obstacles. As big or small as they may be they will require you to take action. Use the skills you think you may often need, but remember that failure is a chance to learn and grow.
4. SELF MASTERY: (This will be explained further in the next section) Whether its feelings to give up when it gets tough or anger rising when we dont get the expected outcome emotions are important to be able to handle. A resilient person will be able to retain the passion for long-term goals and not be influenced by emotions pulling them here and there. Its hard to do, but it can be learnt the more you consciously try it.
There are countless ways we can work on our resilience. The key is to have tools and know you have these tools for times when you need them!
Stress is a very common word used by a lot of us on a daily basis. Traffic stresses us out, exams stress us out, relationship stress us out but what is stress and is it normal to be stress everyday? Are we really stressed or are we just saying it?
You may feel like the tress in your life is out of your control, but you can always control the way you respond to this stress.
Managing stress is all about taking control, being in charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment and the way you deal with problems. Stress management involves changing the stressful situation when you can, changing your reaction when you cannot change the stressful situation.
Where focus goes, energy flows. And if you dont take the time to focus on what matters, then youre living a life of someone elses design. - Tony Robbins
Most people blame other people or their circumstances for what they are in life. I dont believe in circumstances.
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they cant find them, make them.
You cannot succeed in life by scattering your forces and trying to do a dozen things at the same time.
We all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage.
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problemsproblems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.
Most medical and psychiatric professionals consider anxiety to be natural, normal, and useful unless it becomes extreme.
They claim that anxiety helps to gear us up, make us work harder, keep us on our toes, and, in general, help us to cope. Not one of these medical ideas is true.
Positive performance and right actions do not require or automatically produce anxiety. Selfish, controlling intentions and choices produce anxiety
Anxiety is quite simply a selfish reaction to the innate fear of our 'not getting what we want' concerns. When anxiety is consistent and extreme, it is certain that selfish, controlling, reactive choices are consistently in the extreme.
If a person indulges in such choices for a long period, then panic disorder, agoraphobia, social phobia, OCD, PTSD or generalized anxiety disorder will usually follow and evolve.
You dont have to live with guilt, regret, or shame anymore. Too many people are stuck with memories from their past that they cant get over.
Either youve been hurt and have resentment or youve hurt someone else and you have guilt.
Incidentally, this person you've hurt, can even be yourself!
A great Australian Psychiatrist (Mac Jones: 1937 - 2008) once suggested to me that depression isn't real.
He went on to explain: (as accurately as I can remember)
"Depression just exists in peoples minds as they've read about it in the papers or have known someone else who said that they once 'had' it."
"It can't be smelt, tasted, touched or identified by sight by doctors or anyone else in the medical profession. Its just a mere diagnosis."
"Most Psychiatrists identify endless causes for depression, and for each cause there is an unnecessarily complex solution. My contention is that there is but one true cause, and it has to do with your centre."
"I just feel sad. My career isnt going well. My kids dont talk to me. My dad was an alcoholic. I hate my job. I hate my life. Im fat. Im ugly. I dont have many friends. People dont like me Are the sort of typical comments that we hear from the depressed. Nowhere in these statements is there a mention of other people. Its all about you."
"As humans, we get in this state of sadness over very real psychological issues, and we think about them endlessly, feeding them and making them worse than they ever needed to be. This creates emotions and chemical reactions in the body that doctors diagnose as depression."
"Doctors see depression as a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes negative thoughts, but this isn't true. There are chemical imbalances, yes, but they are a result of negative thoughts, not the other way around."
"Doctors will prescribe you medication to correct the chemical imbalances, thinking it will, for this reason, correct your thoughts."
"What you need to do is to correct your thoughts Kain (he said), and you will in turn correct your chemical imbalances. Focus on healthier and more positive things, and you will feel much better in a short space of time."
"Why in poor countries are reported rates of depression significantly less than in western countries? We have everything; they have nothing. Youd think that somebody who doesnt have food for their family would feel pretty fucking depressed, yet no, its the western businessman with everything who feels depressed."
"The superficial reasons could be many, but ultimately it comes down to one thing: the poor man doesnt have the time to sit there thinking about himself. The poor man spends his time trying to feed himself and his family. This gives his daily life meaning, and it removes that infamous word I from his thoughts."
"If youre depressed my advice to you is to stop thinking about what you want, what you dont have or what others have. Focus on something greater than yourself, be happy with what you have and what you are and cherish it. Remove the word I from your vocabulary, and you will find happiness that you havent felt since you were a child."
"Kain, Your depression was all in your head. It was never real. You were never depressed. You were just selfish."
"And if you refuse to admit that you were simply selfish, then you still are."
Although I found this to be challenging, I also found it to be VERY true!
In this video (which you might find somewhat challenging), I explore this idea of how selfishness leads us to experience our main negative emotions in life.
Please don't shoot the messenger!
In this somewhat challenging video, I will discuss how a selfish perspective on life will often lead towards many of the most common negative emotions that people experience.
Please don't shoot the messenger!
Values are a set of beliefs or views that people hold about what is right or wrong and reflect a person's sense of what is good or bad.
They can have a strong influence on an individual's attitude and behaviours, acting as a set of guidelines or rules for how to behave in different situations.
In this section, we will explore over 20 of humanities greatest and most prominent values (although we may all prioritise the values differently, we all value them none the less!).
What do I mean by Values?
Your values are the lenses through which you view yourself and your world. As values develop, they are crystallised and prioritised to form a values system. In essence, they form your own personal truth from which self-esteem, fulfilment, and resilience develop.
This is the first of two optional exercises in this section that'll allow you to get much clearer on what you value the most.
The entirety of the human race has a desire for significance (in one form or another).
Significance is a belief that ones life has meaning and importance. Some individuals will pursue this need by competing with others (in the attempts of winning and being more significant than ...), or, by destroying and tearing down other people around them.
Some people may strive to fulfil their need for significance through connection with other human beings ... but one thing is for certain, everyone will try to meet this core value in their own unique ways!
Benjamin Franklin once stated that: Those who surrender freedom for security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.
So, Freedom or Security? In this video, make a decision and choose for yourself!
If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may go on to experience anxiety, depression, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.
In these dire circumstances, there is often little hope!
Authenticity is associated with adaptive psychological characteristics and may be predictive of hope. The aim of this study was to investigate the associations of Authenticity with Hope. The study was conducted with 382 Turkish university students (171 men, 211 women; M age = 20.4 yrs).
Until you make peace with who you are, you will never be content with what you have. - Doris Mortman
In this video I will share how three of our more prominent values; Fulfilment, contentment and peace are completely interlinked.
Our values play a hugely important role in our mental and emotional well-being. We feel genuinely authentic when we are true to our deepest values, numb when we're indifferent to them, guilt and shame when we violate them, and utter meaninglessness when we lose touch with them.
To value someone or something is to hold that person or thing as important - above and beyond survival considerations - and worthy of appreciation, time, energy, and, if necessary, sacrifice.
Valuing enhances us. We become fuller people when we love, connect, appreciate, improve and protect; it's through remaining true to our values that our value increases in the eye's of others.
Self Improvement V's Inflating the Ego
Creating and maintaining our value (our self-worth) enhances us by increasing our capacity to learn, appreciate, grow, improve, connect and protect others. Inflating the ego is based on devaluing, which we'll often do by unfairly judging others.
For instance, you can value your intelligence if you see it as helping you learn, appreciate, grow, improve, etc. But it's nothing more than a hollow defense of a fragile ego if you ignorantly look down upon those whom you perceive to be less intelligent as you.
What is the most important thing you value about yourself as a person?
This is a challenging question to answer! There are a lot of important things about you; you're most likely honest, loyal, caring, and so forth (to whatever degree).
Although these are important qualities, they tend to be of equal value, and we need to get to something more fundamental. There are various methods of teasing out core value, but the following is the quickest way to get at the most important thing about you.
Imagine that you have grown children and how would like them to feel about you? What if they were to say: "Mum and Dad were honest, loyal, hard-working (whatever you might think is the most important think about you). I'm not sure they cared about us, but they were always honest and hard-working, etc."
Or would you prefer they feel this way: "Mum and Dad were human and made mistakes, but they always cared about us and wanted what was best for us."
For most people, love and compassion for loved ones are the most important thing about them. It is was people inevitably regret not having done enough of later in life. On your death bed you won't fret about whether your spouse and children thought you were right; you'll desperately hope that they knew how much you cared about them.
Most other core values relate to some form of connection or appreciation, but as long as you are true to the most important thing about you, you will always feel authentic.
"Until you make peace with who you are, you will never be content with what you have. - Doris Mortman
Authenticity is a word that means something is genuine or real, like a genuine pair of 'Levi's' Jeans or an authentic 'Superdry' Leather Jacket.
The word authenticity is the state of something being authentic, or legitimate and true.
Authenticity is important when the value of something is dependent on where it came from or how it was made. If you buy a ring said to be worn by Marie Antoinette, you will likely pay a hefty price for it. Before you spend all of that money, you should consult with a historian or experienced jeweler, who will be able to verify its authenticity.
In a similar way, many people will journey through life attempting to be someone whom they're not in order to be liked, loved, accepted and validated by others. Although these people may be likeable, you might find it difficult to trust them 'authentically'.
In this short video, I'll attempt to explain how our self-worth (how we value ourselves) strongly influences how we feel about ourselves (our self-esteem).
The idea of self-worth (self-value) will often be followed by a more prominent focus on self-esteem (how we feel about ourselves).
If you've ever wanted to improve how you feel about yourself, you might have been advised to focus on developing your self-esteem.
Although developing our self-esteem is important, self-esteem (how you feel) without self-worth (self-value) is like an eggshell without a dead chicken inside of it or a shiny new BMW with its engine missing.
So what is the difference between self-esteem and self-worth?
The best way to explain this is by thinking of an external and internal self. Self-esteem relates to they way we feel about ourselves externally, i.e. the way we look, feel, act and the way that others perceive us.
Self-worth, on the other hand, focuses more on an internal sense of self (and a genuine state of authenticity). Self-worth refers to our feelings of importance, our sense of belonging, our degree value to others and a security in our core identity. Self-worth involves finding meaning in your life and a sense of ownership or purpose.
Another difference between self-esteem and self-worth is that self-esteem often bases itself upon materialistic drive or ambition, where self-worth carries intangible traits that need to be harnessed and cultivated through the development of maturity in character.
As we may be starting to recognise, there is a huge difference between self-esteem and self-worth. If you are taking appropriate steps in your life to feel better and improve yourself, all the self-help articles in the world (or even this course) won't enable you to build your self-esteem.
Where self-esteem bases itself more upon how you present yourself to others, self-worth bases itself upon how you appear to you.
Think of your commitment to ongoing self-improvement as simply a commitment towards developing your self-worth. Like the construction of a house where your foundation and frame are your self-worth and the finishes and furnishing are your self-esteem.
Once you've eventually built this dream house of yours ..... do you just want to impress other people with it, or do you want to live inside of it with confidence for the remainder of your lifetime?
As I mentioned in an earlier video, the quality of our relationships will determine the overall quality of our entire lives.
Although most of us will value love, connection and relationships as importnant, it can be very easy to place this three on the lower end of our priorities ... and this is when the problems come!
In this short video, I will discuss how our innermost need to progress, to grow and to increase will be a promenant factor that influences our daily decision making.
In this short video, I discuss how 4 of our main core values, whilst good, can be one of the major sources of 'inner conflict' in our lives.
A wise man once said: 'And the Truth will set you free!'
In this video, I aim to explain the power of truth, and what to expect if you choose to build your life upon it.
EXERCISE 6: Free Online Life Values Inventory
In this short video I just summarise all that we've covered throughout this section (which I appreciate has been quite a lot).
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time, right?
We've most likely all heard this saying, but we often fail to apply this basic life principle in our lives. If you view the elephant as one giant goal that your whole life depends on (for meeting all your values), youre setting yourself up for grave disappointment.
If you ask somebody what goal theyre working on, what kind of answer do you think youll get? Assuming they even have goals, theyll probably say theyre working on something enormous, maybe even something that will allow them to feel like theyre fulfilling their life purpose.
But Its not all about the elephant!
Oh no, it's never all about the elephant! Many people make the common mistake of being primarily focused on the big goals. If your goal is to become an award winning sports star or a chart-topping artist, that's great! But these are elephant sized goals!
If you look to these achievements for your fulfilment in life, you may find yourself unfulfilled until you get there' - that's providing that you do get there!
"Always aim for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." As cheesy as it sounds, this simple quote can give you a great amount of hope as you continue on in your relentless pursuits of that darned elephant!
Long-term goals are great because aiming high lets us strive to be the best we can be. But for every long term goal you have, you want to have many short and medium term goals. If being a best-selling novelist is your long term goal, what smaller goals can you come up with that you should achieve along the way? Maybe for now, youd be happy to come up with an idea for a character you want to include in your first blog post or article.
The fulfilment to be found in achieving small goals
When you have small goals like that, there are a couple of advantages. Small goals give us something concrete to focus upon. If, for example, you did want to become a chart-topping artist, how would you even begin to make that happen? The size of elephant tasks can be hugely overwhelming!
If you dont know the fine details of specifically what to do, youre only going to get frustrated. As time goes by, you notice that your goal still hasnt been achieved, yet youre not sure what to do about it. But its a lot easier to come up with an idea for a character. When you know specifically what to do, and then in turn, youll be much more likely to take inspired action.
I have had a dream since my childhood of leaving a legacy behind me when I die. I have always wanted to change the world!
Now doing this on a geographical scale has often felt like a rather daunting task. However, since changing my perspective a few years ago, I grew to realise that it is very achievable to change the world - in the life of one person at a time! So this gives my life meaning and a sense of purpose.
Today, I'm still working towards eating my elephant, but rather than trying to be a superhero and eat the full mammal, I just take one bite at a time. This perspective allows me to enjoy my meal - and even have time to taste it!
Life is a journey, not a destination
Your life satisfaction will probably be a lot higher if you view your life as a series of many small milestones, instead of one huge milestone that you may or may not ever achieve. Thats not to say that you shouldnt have big goals, only that you should also have smaller ones to focus on along the way.
If you want to lose 40 pounds, great. But dont just focus on that one huge goal. If you do, then every time you get on the scale, youre only going to notice that you havent achieved your goal yet, and so you continually reinforce failure in your mind.
So break it down into smaller goals. There are plenty of goals you can try to accomplish even before losing 1 pound. Maybe you want to read a book about weight loss, or find a support group, or learn a new healthy recipe.
A series of small 'bite sized' accomplishments will keep you on track and make you feel great about your life, whether or not you eventually go on to accomplish your ultimate goal.
If you end up eventually eating the whole elephant, thats fantastic. But dont forget to enjoy the bites, tests, challenges and hurdles along the way - they are what will keep you nourished, fulfilled and content as you tackle the bigger task in hand.
Remember, if the only food on the menu is elephant, ask for it in a burger sometimes, or even with some peri-peri sauce? It's good to mix things up sometimes, and too much of any one thing will always leave you feeling bored in the end!
The sayings: "you were just lucky" or "that person is so lucky" has always made me cringe with unease.
I've never believed in luck. In this short article, let me explain why.
Everything that happens in life traces back to a certain degree of effort or hard work. Or, in most cases, good results are a direct result of a bucketload of effort and self-sacrifice.
When someone scores the goal in Premiere League football, it's never luck that makes the shot go in. It's the years of dedicated practice that the sportsperson has committed to prior to the goal. The goal is due to muscle growth, speed and agility that athlete has developed over thousands of grueling practice and training hours.
There's ever a miraculously lucky gust of wind that floats the ball into the back of the net. If you would suggest otherwise, there's a chance that every committed sportsman in the world will strongly disagree!
When a brand new business begins to experience growth, many people immediately jump onto the 'luck' bandwagon in the attempts of also being associated with this success. (In this scenario, luck is the same thing as overnight success.)
Even if a new company goes viral at launch, there still always have been an immense amount of planning, preparation, coordination, previous successes and failures that have contributed to this behind the scenes.
It's never luck. It's organisation and practical execution.
While serving in the HM Forces, my Army training officers would often quote the '6 P's', which taught us that 'Perfect Planning Prevent's a Piss Poor Performance'. From this, I learned that he who fails to plan, plans to fail!
Consider for a moment any best-selling author. No one ever sat down and wrote a book one week, published the next week, and then sat back and watched as it became a New York Times bestseller.
Ignorant people might suggest that hugely successful authors like Simon Sinek (Start With Why) and J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter) were just lucky? But I guess that most people find it easy to acknowledge a visible end product, opposed to the years of self-sacrifice and commitment that led to the creation of the end product!
Albert Einstein, as a 12-year old boy displayed some uncommon behavioural traits, his school showed concern as he wasnt the same as the other children. His school headmaster rejected him; his parents thought he was retarded. This boy became a man, who throughout the course of his life made some of the most revolutionary theories and discoveries that have transformed the world in terms of scientific understanding and technological advancement.
Was Einstein retarded or just lucky? No, he resiliently persevered on in relentless pursuit of his highly ambitious life vision. And worked hard!
As a graduated design student, Walt Disney found employment with his local newspaper as a cartoonist. After a few months, he was rejected by his editor for lacking creativity and new ideas not even his parents believed in him or encouraged him to pursue his passions. This young man could have given up on his passions and gotten a job in some dead end institution but we all know how that story ends.
Was Walt Disney just lucky? No, he resiliently persevered on in relentless pursuit of his highly ambitious life vision. And worked hard!
These men went on to achieve success at the heights that few of us could even imagine. Was it due to luck or family upbringing, or did these men get a compelling vision for what they could achieve then make a lifetime commitment to hard work and relentless perseverance?
I could go on with examples here, but I guess that my point has been made clear. Lottery winners are lucky. However, the majority of lottery winners have strategies, systems, and complex buying patterns that they also commit to for gaining their results. Sure, there are a some people who buy a single ticket and win, but the hope of this kind of luck isn't strong enough to sustain any degree of mental composure.
Luck has this way of eventually showing up once all the hard work is complete. Luck often presents itself when all that remains is hope for a divine intervention!
Some people have said to me; "It's OK for you - giving all this life advice kind of stuff, you've already made it!" Oooooh, how this makes my blood boil! Statements like this belittle the years of commitment, study and effort I have invested in building a financially sustainable life for myself (and my family). But this OK, as I know how ignorance is bliss!
The illusion of luck can consume you if you're not careful. If you buy into it, you'll end up sitting idly on the sidelines while the dedicated, hustling, hard-working people pass you by on their road to success.
It's like Coleman Cox said in 1922: "I am a great believer in luck. The harder I work, the more of it I seem to have."
Don't sit around waiting for the luck train to show up. Luck is for little Irish leprechauns and breakfast cereals with marshmallows in them. For the rest of us, it's just hard work, resilience and persistence that leads us closer to achieving fulfilment.
So ... this is the last of the exercises (you'll possibly be glad to hear) where in this short video I will ask you a series of four questions which you can apply to one current area of your life that you wish to make a change in.
If you are finding it difficult to focus in on one specific area of your life that you wish to experience more fulfilment in, please refer back to the 'Life Balance Questionnaire' in the first section, and complete this exercise as many times as you need to - it works every time!
Please use the downloadable worksheet (attached in the downloadable materials) to note down and record your answers ... you'll be glad that you did! ;)
Kain
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time, right?
We've most likely all heard this saying, but we often fail to apply this basic life principle in our lives. If you view the elephant as one giant goal that your whole life depends on (for meeting all your values), youre setting yourself up for grave disappointment.
If you ask somebody what goal theyre working on, what kind of answer do you think youll get? Assuming they even have goals, theyll probably say theyre working on something enormous, maybe even something that will allow them to feel like theyre fulfilling their life purpose.
But Its not all about the elephant!
Oh no, it's never all about the elephant! Many people make the common mistake of being primarily focused on the big goals. If your goal is to become an award winning sports star or a chart-topping artist, that's great! But these are elephant sized goals!
If you look to these achievements for your fulfilment in life, you may find yourself unfulfilled until you get there' - that's providing that you do get there!
"Always aim for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." As cheesy as it sounds, this simple quote can give you a great amount of hope as you continue on in your relentless pursuits of that darned elephant!
Long-term goals are great because aiming high lets us strive to be the best we can be. But for every long term goal you have, you want to have many short and medium term goals. If being a best-selling novelist is your long term goal, what smaller goals can you come up with that you should achieve along the way? Maybe for now, youd be happy to come up with an idea for a character you want to include in your first blog post or article.
The fulfilment in achieving small goals
When you have small goals like that, there are a couple of advantages. Small goals give us something concrete to focus upon. If, for example, you did want to become a chart-topping artist, how would you even begin to make that happen? The size of elephant tasks can be hugely overwhelming!
If you dont know the fine details of specifically what to do, youre only going to get frustrated. As time goes by, you notice that your goal still hasnt been achieved, yet youre not sure what to do about it. But its a lot easier to come up with an idea for a character. When you know specifically what to do, and then in turn, youll be much more likely to take inspired action.
I have had a dream since my childhood of leaving a legacy behind me when I die. I have always wanted to change the world!
Now doing this on a geographical scale has often felt like a rather daunting task. However, since changing my perspective a few years ago, I grew to realise that it is very achievable to change the world - in the life of one person at a time! So this gives my life meaning and a sense of purpose.
Today, I'm still working towards eating my elephant, but rather than trying to be a superhero and eat the full mammal, I just take one bite at a time. This perspective allows me to enjoy my meal - and even have time to taste it!
Life is a journey, not a destination
Your life satisfaction will probably be a lot higher if you view your life as a series of many small milestones, instead of one huge milestone that you may or may not ever achieve. Thats not to say that you shouldnt have big goals, only that you should also have smaller ones to focus on along the way.
If you want to lose 40 pounds, great. But dont just focus on that one huge goal. If you do, then every time you get on the scale, youre only going to notice that you havent achieved your goal yet, and so you continually reinforce failure in your mind.
So break it down into smaller goals. There are plenty of goals you can try to accomplish even before losing 1 pound. Maybe you want to read a book about weight loss, or find a support group, or learn a new healthy recipe.
A series of small 'bite sized' accomplishments will keep you on track and make you feel great about your life, whether or not you eventually go on to accomplish your ultimate goal.
If you end up eventually eating the whole elephant, thats fantastic. But dont forget to enjoy the bites, tests, challenges and hurdles along the way - they are what will keep you nourished, fulfilled and content as you tackle the bigger task in hand.
Remember, if the only food on the menu is elephant, ask for it in a burger sometimes, or even with some peri-peri sauce? It's good to mix things up sometimes, and too much of any one thing will always leave you feeling bored in the end!
We're just about reaching the end of the course and I appreciate that it may have been one of my more challenging courses!
It would be great if at this stage, you'd be happy to consider reviewing the course and give some honest feedback - this will allow me to make some improvements (if necessary) moving forwards, and also give me a good idea whether there's any area's that I could build upon to help you get a better understanding of 'core values'.
A big thanks for enrolling in the course, and please feel free to message me with any questions!
Kindest regards,
Kain Ramsay
Self development can be a highly challenging process, so Ive produced this Podcast in order to share more of the most impacting life insights & principles Ive discovered about the most relevant topics that influence your life on a daily basis.
Kain Ramsay's Life Balance Podcast on iTunes
Please subscribe and if you'd be happy to, leave me a review.
Kain
Here is the link to the podcast episode live from it's source (conducted by Jeremy Sandow):
http://www.jeremysandow.com/put-yourself-on-the-road-to-self-mastery-with-personal-development-coach-kain-ramsay/
And here's the iTunes link if you'd like to subscribe:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/teach-what-you-know-for-massive/id919412803?mt=
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